RT @Mike_FTW: Art http://t.co/aV1CYeFi
RT @JohnFugelsang: Christmas is a good time to realize that not all your family are relatives, and not all your relatives are family.
Totally shoulda bought stock in Chinese Food before tomorrow.
RT @churchcooper: The only thing that gets hippies angrier than the 1% is the Trader Joes parking lot.
I will not buy my nieces an American Girl Doll. That bitch is way too xenophobic!
My sister: “What’s that bump on your cheek near your chin?” Me: “My jowl” #holidayswfamily
If hot air rises why is my old bedroom in my parents’ house so fucking cold?!
Stormtroopers were WAY better shots in the prequels.
If hacking cough guy is on my flight there’s gonna be a problem. If he’s in the seat next to me there’s gonna be a smothering.
Cannot keep a thought in my head longer than 30 seconds today. #stokedtoflyhome